This is just a little rambling post. I keep telling y’all t..
Added 2022-07-22 16:47:16 +0000 UTCThis is just a little rambling post.
I keep telling y’all that when I’m feeling off, or like I’m going to disassociate because of depression and anxiety, that I will be more open in hopes that it will help 😬😊
The last few days I can literally feel the depressed and and isolation creeping up behind me. No joke like stalking me. This sad panda following me around ready to eat me up.
I’m just honestly so tired of the repetitive thoughts all day everyday. I swear to you, I even dream about this trash. It’s a pit of anxiety in my stomach as soon as I start to wake up until I go to bed, and yet I can’t move to do anything all day. I’ll sit there, swear to heaven, saying aloud and begging the thoughts to shut up and pisss off lol
I feel like I lost ALL my creative flow and idk what i need to do to get it back. I will have sweet ideas, then completely forget them 15 minutes later because my brain sits there and tells me all the really mean things, “You cant”, “ you suck”, “this will fail”…until I forget and disassociate. Letting those awful thoughts win. Then this swarm of guilt engulfs me because I (know) feel like I’m letting y’all down now lol. I’ve lost an embarrassing amount of subs because of my ups and downs the last few months. EMBARRASSING. I’ve let message go unanswered. Posts go unposted, and I am so sorry, because I do think I can work harder and be better for you guys. So this is my “I am going to work harder and be better for y’all” Ted Talk hahaha I guess in a way I’m trying to hold myself accountable by being a wee more raw.
Thanks for reading my nonsense ramblings, and thank you to those who message, and thank you to everyone who stay subbed and support me. I am one lucky girl to have y’all, and I PROMISE that is one thing I never and will never forget! 🤍
