Added 2022-12-20 18:33:50 +0000 UTC
RANT (u may skip this, sorry! Just needed to let it out ðŸ˜) So I went back to that thread where some of my videos were leaked. Ever since that happened, I get so much anxiety now when posting. I work really really hard on my stuff and I feel very betrayed by it until now. I also saw a comment regarding my haircut, and that's not the first time someone has made fun of my looks. I just get really sad sometimes, because once I start liking something about myself, someone has something shitty to say about it. Idk where to place myself. I know I should not respond nor say anything, but I can't keep it in sometimes ya know LOL. I don't really wanna be a big content creator, so it shouldn't matter much, but it just feels like I've never been enough to anyone. I love looking like a boy or being androgynous, I love my hair, I love my body SOMETIMES, but because of my past, I cannot ever love myself fully. It still hurts, but at this point, I'm just numb and I cannot really tell if that's a good thing or not haha. Things that used to hurt me, no longer do. I am afraid to lose feelings. Is that how we all end up? We hurt and hurt until we lose the ability to feel. It's my birthday and I should be happy, but I stopped being happy for my birthday once I turned 18. Sorry for this uncalled rant. I just feel hella emotional during my birth month or just this month in general 🫤 Anyway, here's my Sprat rat. She is my world. She gives me joy. EDIT: I FEEL EMBARRASSED FOR SPEAKING UP ON HERE LOL I'M SORRY 😠I will try to not delete this... (I probably will... but I SHOULDN'T!)
