I get lifestyle questions, requests for tips & tricks, etc, ..

I get lifestyle questions, requests for tips & tricks, etc, a lot; so I'm going to periodically begin addressing them as inspiration strikes me. If you're a submissive or a cuckolding couple seeking a dominant and/or bull, here are some warning signs you're actually just dealing with an asshole: 1. He focuses on what he will get out of the relationship (sex) as opposed to how he can help with your fantasies. 2. He never "turns off"; he simply cannot seem to communicate like a regular human being outside of scenes and always has this macho thing going on. 3. He ignores limits. This one requires a bit of experience because dominants will naturally push your limits overtime, but that is only after A LOT of communication and understanding each other. 4. He demands respect without ever having earned it. If you find yourself thinking a phrase along the lines of "You're a dominant/bull, but you're not MY dominant/bull", that is a pretty good red flag. 5. Refusing to gain experience. Let me clarify here, being new to the lifestyle should not be a disqualifier, because every good dominant or bull was new at one point. What absolutely should be a disqualifier is if they show they are not willing to learn the common terms and take this seriously. More specific to being a dominant, but the name of the game is continuous improvement. If you express to a dominant that you are very interested in something like rope play, and they can't even be bothered to look into it, red flag. On the flipside, here are some notes for aspiring dominants and bulls; 1. Your dick does not make you special. It does not matter if it's 10" long and as thick as a coke can, if your personality leaves something to be desired, that is why your kinky fantasies aren't everything you wish they were. Bo Burnham has a great line that sums it up "You might think your dick is a gift, I promise it's not." 2. So we've established having an impressive schlong isn't enough, so what is enough? I'm afraid that one is on you to figure out. The question you need to have a good answer to is, "What makes you better then the other 50 guys that messaged me today?". Have no doubt in your mind, that is the question your first message to anyone has to begin answering. If your message was "Hey, I've got a 13" cock, want to fuck?", refer to #1, you also failed to address the implicit question which is why they didn't reply, also no you don't, stop it. 3. I'm not quite sure how to convey this one, but be.... normal. Don't try and launch into sexting with someone you've been talking with for 15 minutes. Don't send unsolicited sexual pictures unless it's pretty clear they're also wanting to take the conversation in that direction. LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION. Don't try and roleplay with someone when they don't know that's what's going on (ok, that last one is a personal pet peeve). 4. As a bull, it's not just about the woman! It's their fantasy as a couple. If you're only concern is about trying to please her, your max grade is 50%, you failed. It's probably lower than that because one of her biggest concerns is also going to be ensuring her spouse is having a good time.